C1557 Woe
C1557 Woe
"I — —" Lee Shun seemed to be stumped by Zhang Mei's question.
"You what you? Tell me about it. "
"I... This... Plum … "This …" Lee Shun was a bit incoherent.
"Speak clearly. If you can't speak clearly, then I won't leave tonight. I'll stay here with you!" Zhang Mei said.
"No, just obediently go back to your room." Lee Shun refused flatly.
"Give me a reason, say —" Zhang Mei refused to back down.
"Reason? What kind of reason do you want? It's not good to live separately, but why do you insist on living together? "
"Do you think it's appropriate for us to live apart? Is it normal to live apart? Do you think that makes sense? "
"Suitable, normal, reasonable!"
"Bullshit!" Zhang Mei said, "I was already your person N years ago and already had a child born for you. Now that you've put on an act for me, let me ask you, what exactly do you think in your heart?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you still have me in your heart? Do you have another woman? "
"Don't you know whether I have you or not? You said I have another woman. You're with me all day. Which woman do you think I'm looking for? Don't you have eyes? "
"That's true. I really didn't see you having any contact with any woman. So you still have me in your heart?" "Isn't it?" Zhang Mei's tone was slightly relaxed.
Lee Shun did not say anything.
"But if you had me in your heart, why did you never touch me for so long? It's not like we didn't have sex, so why are you acting like this to me? " Zhang Mei continued to ask.
"Can't two people just have to do that together? Are you not f * * king going to die if you don't do that? " Lee Shun's voice was a bit annoyed, but it still sounded a little weak.
I'm not saying that I can't live without you. I'm not living without you, but now that we're together, it can't be this way. This is very abnormal, I think you just hate me and are tired of me, right? Zhang Mei's voice was full of grievance.
"Mei Zi, what exactly did I do to you? Do you think I'm tired of you? You should know in your heart that if I'm really tired of you, why would I bring you to Golden Triangle?" Lee Shun's tone turned soft.
"Did you bring me to the Golden Triangle just so I could live a life as a widow? "You don't get tired of me. Why don't you want to sleep with me?" Zhang Mei said.
Lee Shun was silent for a moment and then sighed: "Mei, why did you force me?"
"I didn't force you. I just wanted to ask you for an explanation." Zhang Mei's voice had also turned soft with a tinge of desolation. "I know that I've let you down with regards to the matter of the child. I also know that my crimes are unforgivable, but can you blame me completely? If your parents hadn't interfered, would the damn ghost have come to the hospital? Could the child be born and abandoned?
What kind of woman doesn't love her child, what's more, it's the crystallization of our love. Do you think I'm willing to watch my child get taken away from me and thrown away? What did you do then? Why weren't you there to protect me when I had a baby?
I... I... I still can't forgive myself. I can't forgive you, my poor child. The person I feel the most sorry for is our child, and I still can't forgive myself. "
At this point, Zhang Mei's business was choked with sobs and she could not continue any further.
"Plum..." About the child... "Yes, it's true that I once resented you, I even hated you, but then I knew that I shouldn't have blamed you, that it wasn't your fault, that it was them, that my parents were wrong, that they shouldn't have done that, that it was me, that I shouldn't have listened to my parents and gone out of the country to do things, that time when I shouldn't have listened to my parents, that the biggest mistake was mine, that I couldn't make up to you, and that I couldn't make up to my children."
Lee Shun's voice trembled a little: "After so many years, whenever I think about that scene, my heart would always feel like it's being pierced by needles. After all these years, I still can't forgive myself. I know I'm a bastard. "
"Asun, don't say that. All these years have passed, and I am already satisfied that I am still alive and with you. I know that your parents will not accept someone of my status into your family. I know that in their eyes, I am a lowly woman. A woman like me will never have any status or position in a noble family like yours.
I don't blame them anymore. I understand them. I hate myself the most. Perhaps our understanding of each other was a mistake. We shouldn't have known each other before, so we shouldn't have walked together. I know in my heart that the reason you stopped me from seeing your parents was for my own good as well as everyone's good. Now that I have given up on all the beautiful dreams and desires from the past, I am no longer interested in getting a place. As long as I can be together with you, I am satisfied. "Regardless of the ends of the earth, I am willing to follow you. No matter if I live or die, I will never ever be separated from you again."
Zhang Mei's voice sounded sad and bitter.
"Plum …" Lee Shun's voice sounded touched and a little sour.
"Actually, right now, I should be very satisfied. Actually, I shouldn't ask for higher things from you. If we can meet again in this life, I can still be together with you. I should be. Perhaps my request to you is too excessive." Zhang Mei said faintly.
"Plum, I'm sorry. I know what I'm doing to you right now is unfair, but in my heart, there's a huge mental barrier. I can't overcome it, I can't defeat myself and get myself to do something. Lee Shun said.
"Mental disorder? What the hell is the matter with you? Are you? Don't you like doing that with women? Are you cold? "Do you fear from the bottom of your heart to do that with a woman?" Zhang Mei said.
"No, no, no — no!" Lee Shun denied it in a row.
"What is that?" "Then why?" Zhang Mei's voice was full of confusion.
At this moment, I firmly believe that it's because of Qiu Tong's existence. Qiu Tong is Lee Shun's fiancee, and Lee Shun is unwilling to let Qiu Tong down. This must be a mental barrier that he can't say anything to Zhang Mei.
As I analyzed it, I couldn't help but to feel that Lee Shun was really a single-minded person. He never had that kind of relationship with Qiu Tong, but he still had to protect her. How precious this was, compared to Qiu Tong, I couldn't help but feel ashamed.
"Why …" Plum, don't force me, okay? Perhaps I will tell you in the future, but I can't say it now, so don't force me. " Lee Shun's voice was helpless.
Naturally, Lee Shun couldn't say anything about Qiu Tong's existence now. It would provoke Zhang Mei, and everyone would be unable to live in peace. I continued to analyze Lee Shun's thoughts in a self-righteous manner.
Zhang Mei sighed. "Alright, I won't force you. "Asun, actually, I hope that you can live happily. When we're together, what I hope the most is for you to be happy. Your happiness is my greatest happiness."
"Mei Zi, with these words of yours, I am very satisfied. I have never regretted knowing you. I have never regretted it even now. I was indeed not wrong about you back then!" Lee Shun said.
Zhang Mei became silent, Lee Shun also became silent.
I was about to leave when I heard Zhang Mei say, "Asun, do you know? Over the years, I often think of our children. Our daughter, if she is still alive, should be over seven years old by now. "
"Plum …"
"Ever since I saw you, ever since I followed you to Golden Triangle, the longing for you became even more intense. Every single night, whenever I finish skating, no matter if I open my eyes or close them, it was as if I could see our daughter. She was so beautiful and lively and lovely, and she swayed right in front of my eyes and smiled sweetly and called out sweetly for Mom and Dad. "
Zhang Mei couldn't help but sob, "Asun, do you know how I feel right now? My heart felt like it was being stabbed by a knife. Can you imagine my pain right now? How much I miss our daughter, how much I want to hold her and hear her call me Mama. "
"Plum …" Lee Shun's voice started to tremble again.
"But I know it's all an illusion, an illusion. I can only see my daughter and hear her calling me Mama after I've skated." Zhang Mei said as she sobbed, "When I miss my daughter, I can't help but want to skate. I want to immerse myself in the illusion of happiness. The more I skate, the more I miss my daughter, and the more I miss her, the more I can't leave the illusion brought by the ice poison. "
Hearing this, my heart spasmed violently. I could understand Zhang Mei's feelings as a mother at this moment. I think, as Xiaoxue's father, Lee Shun can understand as well.
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I heard Lee Shun let out a heavy sigh. It seemed that Lee Shun's emotions were extremely complicated. On one hand, he was suffering because of Zhang Mei's feelings, and on the other hand, he had to consider other aspects and other considerations.
Lee Shun was determined not to tell Zhang Mei the truth, determined not to let Zhang Mei know that Xiao Xue was still alive in this world, and at the Hsinghai at that.
At this moment, Lee Shun's heart seemed to be tender, yet it was also iron-blooded, and seemed to be cold and hard.
After a long while, Lee Shun muttered: "Based on our current situation, based on our current situation, with our current condition, with two addicts like us, do you think that if the child was here and saw us now, she would feel happy? Would she recognize people like us as her parents? How can we face being her parents? "
Zhang Mei said after a while, "Maybe what you said is true. People like us, like we are now, aren't fit to be parents. We are not worthy. "
Then they were silent again.
After a long while, he heard Zhang Mei say, "Asun, let me tell you something."
"Yes."
"Before you came to pick me up, Yi Ke sent me to the rehab center. On the way, I saw a mother and daughter playing in the plaza by the roadside. I couldn't help but think of my daughter. The girl was very pretty and cute, and her mother was even more stunning. The two of them were so harmonious and warm together.