C196 Restlessness
C196 Restlessness
In the dead of night, I sat alone in front of my computer, lit a cigarette, and once again looked at the little bits and pieces of me and Floating Dream. Thinking about the laughter and chatter of the past, I couldn't help but feel a wave of warmth and happiness in my heart.
However, after the happiness of hallucinations, thinking about Qiu Tong in reality, thinking about Lee Shun in reality, I felt a huge stabbing pain, as well as a deep loneliness.
This loneliness brought with it an incomparable helplessness and sorrow, an ethereal illusion and confusion, a blank hope and blessing, an inexplicable loneliness and melancholy, and a bit of inferiority and melancholy.
I looked out the window at the lonely night sky filled with twinkling stars, my heart filled with endless longing and loneliness...
I turned my head to look at the picture of Floating Dream invisible on the internet. My heart was unable to calm down, even though I could see Qiu Tong from the real world every day, I still strongly miss her at this moment.
To think of her, it could be careful, it could be silent, it could be torturous, it could be helpless, it could be suicidal, it could be hopeless, it could be unfair, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about her!
Thinking about her, on a night when the full moon was not full, it was not wrong to love anyone. The wrong thing was a person, only a life that could not last forever, just a reality that could not be changed, just a virtual reality that could not be broken through, in the midst of a spark of love, there would be an extravagant desire for eternity, and when they woke up, they would know that they would be far away.
I know that the heart will wither, but in the dark and worry about. Although I know that this attachment is fruitless, is a self-deception. I knew that if I continued to deceive myself like this, I would destroy myself and allow myself to fall into the abyss of my own emotions.
However, I cannot convince myself. Even though I have tried countless times to make myself forget about her, forget about Dong Xue, and let the reality close to Hai Zhu forget about her, it has never passed away, never passed away …
Looking at the Floating Dream that was invisible and silent, I wonder if she, like me, was thinking about me in this lonely and lonely deep night.
When I thought of this, I could no longer control my trembling hands and started tapping the keyboard. "You, come out —"
There was no response, and I wondered if she would be startled, or stimulated, by my sudden outburst.
Since I had already spoken, I didn't intend to stop. I continued typing: "I know you are here, get out here, do you hear me?!"
My words were unreasonable and aggressive.
She was still standing there without saying anything. It was unknown what she was thinking. Perhaps she was hesitating, or perhaps she was still frightened.
"I know you're right here. I know you're in my air. I know you're in the air watching me. Come out and come out …" I punched furiously at the keyboard and typed a long string.
After a while, she finally replied, "You're crazy."
Heavens, Floating Dream has finally spoken. She has finally come out under my summons.
Excited, I quickly hit the keyboard. "Yes, I'm crazy!"
"Where did you come from?" After a moment of silence, she called again.
"I've always been in your air. I've always been around you." I replied.
"You … I... We have... You... Why do you have to come out again... You... Why do you have to force me out again? " she said, sending him a sad and helpless look.
"I didn't force you. You were forcing me. You weren't forcing me either. You were forcing yourself." I said bitterly, incoherently.
"You — you're still forcing me …" She sent a sighing emoji.
"I didn't force you, and you didn't force me either. I didn't want to force you, and I also knew that you didn't want to force me. Actually, we were both forcing ourselves." I said, "I want to forget you, but I can't do it. I can't do it."
"Sigh, I'm the one who harmed you. You should have a real life, real love, and real happiness. You should completely forget about me, forget about this game, and this dream." "No," she said.
"But, I can't do it, I have no choice!" I said, "And you, did you do it? "Do you dare to tell me that you have done it?"
"Don't force me, okay?" She sent him a sad look, as if she were about to cry.
My heart softened. "Alright, I won't force you!"
"Thank you." "No," she said.
Following that, she and I seemed to be speechless. It had been a long time since we last met, and a thousand words had been exchanged. It was as if we were all choked up and didn't know what to say.
"How are you doing?" she said after a long silence.
I said, "Okay, what about you?"
"Me too!" She asked, "Are you still at Qingdao?"
"Yes!" "What about you?" "No," I said.
"I'm still at the original unit for Hsinghai!"
Then we were speechless.
After a while, she said, "Why are you looking for me? Why break my quiet life? "
I said, "Why do you think I'm looking for you? If you think I'm ruining your peaceful life, then, okay, are you going to blacken me now? Since you didn't want me to disturb you, why didn't you let me down? Why are you sitting here looking at me alone? Why can I see your lonely, sad eyes? "
"Why are you so fierce? Why are you so aggressive towards me? "How did you see my eyes?" "No," she said.
"Because I am your air and I am surrounding you, I can naturally see your eyes." I said, "I don't want to be mean to you, I don't want to be strong to you, but you won't listen."
After saying that, I suddenly burst out laughing.
"I... You... Why am I disobedient? Why should I listen to you? " she croaked.
"I …" I paused, unable to speak.
"Say it, say it!" She seemed to be reacting.
"If you don't come out when I call you out, isn't that the same as disobeying orders?" I choked out a word.
"You are overbearing, didn't I just come out …" "You …" "No," she said.
"Un, I was disobedient just now. Now that I have obeyed your command, I will be a good child!" "No," I said.
"You are the child." "No," she said.
"That's fine. I'm a child, and we're all good children." "No," I said.
0
She did not speak.
I don't know if she was smiling or if she was happy.
"I've always been thinking about you. I want to make myself forget about you, but I still can't beat my heart in the end. In the end, I've still come looking for you." "No," I said.
"I... "I …" She paused, then said: "Let's not talk about this, shall we? I don't want to talk about it anymore. Just let him go, okay? "
I didn't want to force her anymore, so I said, "Okay!"
"Thank you!" She said, "Did you find your old girlfriend? Did she come back to you? "
I said, "Why do you care so much about this?"
She said, "We are friends. Since we are friends, we should care about each other and our friends. Isn't that normal?"
I said, "No comment!"
She sent him a face full of tolerance. "Alright, since you don't want to talk about it, then let it be."
I said, "You know even if I didn't tell you. Why ask me?"
She paused, then said, "If you continue to be so fierce, I'll go down now."
I hurriedly said, "You're not allowed to leave. If you dare to leave, I'll take a look."
She said, "Do you want to anger me again? If you are going to be even more fierce, then I will really go down and never come again! "
I immediately gave in. "Alright, I won't be fierce anymore!"
"Mm …" She said, "How can you have such a temper now, such a domineering man!"
I said, "I don't think so. It was because you became gentle that you were able to show off my domineering attitude, right?"
She said, "Have I become flexible?"
"Yeah, don't you think so?" "No," I said.
"No!" I feel that I have never changed, that I am still my old self! " "No," she said.
"Did I really change?" "No," I said.
"Well, I think so! It looks like your career has been going well recently. As a man, once your career has gone well, your spirit will naturally rise. You will also become more confident in your speech, and you will become somewhat domineering. " "No," she said.
"I can't say for sure, but I can only say that I have a job to do. The work I did recently was not too bad, and I did my best to do it. The Leader can be considered quite satisfied with it." I said, "My leader treats me pretty well. He cares about me a lot! It is a great fortune for your subordinate to have a good leader! "
"That's good. I'm really happy for you. Come on, keep working hard!" She said: "Actually, I have experienced it deeply. Being able to get a good subordinate is also the leader's luck."
I said, "So you met a good subordinate?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"I've told you before, his name is Yi Ke!"
"That guy with the same stage name and different pronunciation, is he really that capable?"
"Yes, a true person doesn't reveal himself. He is currently in a state of ability development and promotion. He has done well in my company and is well-received by the group leaders and colleagues around." She said: "This Yi Ke, not only has his working ability begun to show, he is also very loyal to me. It can be said that he is very loyal."
"Having a subordinate like him is really not bad!" "No," I said.
"The more I understand this person, the more I realize …" She stopped.
"What do you find?"
"The more I know of him, the more unreasonable I find him to be!" "No," she said.
"How is that unreasonable?" "No," I said.
"This... I can't say for sure, but I just find it weird, so I can't see through it! " She said, "Besides, I also noticed that he had some areas that were similar to yours."
My heart skipped a beat and I said, "What's similar? "The names and pronunciation should be the same!"
"It's not just the name 'Harmonic Name'. His way of thinking at work seems to carry a faint shadow of you. Sometimes when I see him, I would even absentmindedly think that he is you! But when I woke up, I felt that I was too childish and my thoughts were too preposterous. " She said, "You guys are obviously from the Tengchong of Yunnan, and one of you is from the Ningzhou. One of you is from the Hsinghai, and the other is from the Qingdao.
I said, "That's a coincidence. Do you think we're the same person?"