The Scars

They both acted awkwardly. Reno released his hands from Angeline’s waist and so did Angeline. Reno’s face turned pale, as if seeing a horror while Angeline behaved as though having done a great thing. Her mocking smile asserted her victory over me.    

“I should have thought twice to accept your proposal. At least God showed me what kind of man you are.” I swirled out and slammed the door behind me.    

“Ilana, it is not like what you are thinking about. Let me explain to you. Please trust me.” Reno chased me while pleading me to listen to him. Instead of giving him a chance to elaborate, I sped up my pace.    

The receptionist girl gazed at me in guilt. She would get probably shocked and wondered to see my furious face with Reno following behind me. Yet, that girl shut her mouth. She drowned her face that her chin almost touched her chest.    

“All is over!” I declared when he managed to cut my steps.    

“Please....we didn’t do anything. I was just trying to keep her standing. She almost fell down.”    

“Can you explain these, then?” I took the pictures out of the envelope and threw them before his face. “Tell me something about the pictures.” Reno sank down and picked up the pictures scattering around the floor like craps. The pictures jolted him; he slowly rose at his feet with his eyes attached at the picture in his hand.    

“No, this can’t be. There must be something wrong with it. We never did what it was like in the picture.” He was attempting to defend himself.    

“The photographer said it was real. I thought of discussing this to you yet you have disappointed me by what you both were doing,” I leered at Angeline who had been near us, “in your room.”    

“We didn’t .....”    

“I don’t want to hear anything. I think canceling the wedding is the best choice for both of us now.” I left them quickly. Reno was still pursuing yet Angeline restrained him.    

Getting into my car, I sat still and squeezed the steer, holding back my pain of Reno’s betrayal. The tears were not supposed to stream down my cheek. However, it was hard to kill my heartache. How could he do this to me? I hated that I had believed in him.    

I closed my eyes, calming myself down then brushing the tears away with my handkerchief and opened them afterwards. Then, in a minute, I started the engine of my car. The car took me away from Reno, far from his treason.    

***    

“Ilana, where are you going? Why are you packing your things?” My mother wondered. I gave her two tickets. “What does it mean?”    

“Mom, we are going to go to Derawan Island. Isn’t that what you have always dreamt of? Derawan Island is your home town, right?”    

“But, why is it such in a hurry? Does Reno come with us? What about your wedding? It’s just one week to go.”    

“There is no wedding, Mom.” I stopped.    

“What? What do you mean?”    

“Reno betrays me, Mom.” My mother jerked back. “So, just forget about the wedding.” I got back to my activity.    

“Wait! Can you repeat what you just said? I think I have problem with ears.”    

“Reno and I won’t be together. That’s all.”    

“How can you both decide without my approval?”    

“Mom, the flight will be tonight. Just be prepared. I’ll help you pack your things after this.” My mother did not react, nor move. She was puzzled with situation. “Mom, we have no time. It takes about three hours to get to the airport.” My mother silently processed out of my bedroom. I could not read what was in her mind.    

After everything was ready, I contacted an online taxi. The taxi came five minutes later. The driver assisted us to put the luggage into the trunk. My mother did not say a word. She climbed into the taxi after me. The taxi swept the road and took us to Husein Sastranegara airport.    

It has been dark when we got to the airport, the light made this place like a day. The people swarmed many parts of the departure hall. Some of them just sent their families to the airport. The taxi lined up before the departure hall, dropping or waiting for passengers.    

My mother and I rushed to the check-in counter after passing through the security gate and handed over our luggage. Than we proceeded to the boarding gate and waited there for about one hour before boarding.    

My mother just kept silent, locking herself in her world even until the announcement to get on the board filled the airport. We boarded and proceeded to our seat. It was the first time for my mother got on the plane. She looked worried and held my hand until she secured on her seat. I helped her buckled up her seatbelt.    

This plane would fly to Berau Regency and after that we still needed to go to Tanjung Batu by bus. From Tanjung Batu, we had to take a boat to Derawan Island which was about a half hour. It would be a long journey. I felt guilty to take my mother with me this far. But, I could not live with Reno around. Leaving Bandung or Jakarta was a must for my self-care this time.    

After four hours, the flight attendant announced that we were going to touch down in a short time. My mother was still sleeping. She looked exhausted. At her age, she should have lived a peaceful life. At least, Derawan Island would be a great place for my mother to spend the rest of her life peacefully and comfortably. My mother loved being at the beach a lot. Marrying my father sucked her life that she could not relish her life even once.    

Talking about my father, I visited him in the jail last week. He was sentenced to death for the murder case he did. I paid for the lawyer to help reduce his chastisement. The court rejected that. My father would face his sentence in next three months. I felt heart breaking despite whatever he had done to me and my mother. My father had repented and apologized to me and my mother. he regretted all he did to me in the past. I wiped the tears that trickled down my cheek when my mother woke up. I peered the airport down below through the window. We are going to get off the plane shortly.    

***    

The Crystal clear blue sea was outspread under cloudy blue sky before my eyes. It was amazing to enjoy along the way from the boat that carried us to Derawan Island. The sea creatures below the water playing around teased me to dive with them. Once in a while, the ripples created by my hands enlivened the solitude of our trip to the island. My mother still locked her mouth. She just leaned on one of the pole and wrapped her body with both of her hands. The life jacket secured her. The wind sometimes played the scarf she was wearing.    

In a half-hour, we reached the gorgeous island. It was a paradise-like place that you would not want to go away from it when you had set your feet on it. The words could not describe the beauty of every inch of it, the crystal clear bluish water, exotic beach, nice cottages, and friendly people. I thought that it was only picture could depict how incredible God had created this island. The words and sentences were not enough to put this place into description.    

We stayed in one of cottages because my mother could not find any of her relatives in this place. They might have moved somewhere. The cottage was so cozy with good internet connection, awesome facilities, humble attendants, and great food. On top of that, I could spend my life here doing whatever I craved for. The views around the cottage made me forget all my broken heart. During my stay, I just did like the riches usually did. I just wandered around this resort, took pictures as many as possible, relish the sun rise, bathed my body under the sun in the morning while sipping a glass of juice, and watched the sunset before the dusk took its place. This routine had taken place for three months now. During last three months, I deactivated my social media accounts and changed my number. I just wanted to live my life peacefully, without hearing about Reno and anything related to him.    

Like yesterday, I walked along the beach barefoot, capturing the beautiful wave, the sunrise and also the quietness as it was too early in the morning. My long skirt once in a while fluttered due the morning breeze. It was only when the sun had appeared fully; I scurried away from the beach. I heard someone calling my name from a far, behind me. I doubted whether it was my name she shouted out. Neither tourists nor the locals I spotted in this area at this hour. I kept striding.    

“Ilana....” This time, her voice was louder. She quickened her steps. I spun around. How surprised I was to see who had been standing few steps from me.    

“Angeline.” She showcased a big smile. Angeline’s hand rubbed her mounted belly. I had known since the beginning that she was pregnant. What did all of these mean? Did she want to inform me that she had married Reno and lived happily ever after as it was in the Cinderella’s story?