Phantom Haunts
Phantom Haunts
The head physician dropped his hands and said, "Your majesty appears to be in good health-"
"Is that all? Are you sure? Check again!" Xiao Ruo agitatedly jumped in before Lei Xing could comment, earning her disapproving glances from both the head physician and Lei Xing. Xiao Ruo immediately composed herself and calmly said, "... Ahh, what I mean is, um... is there anything unusual?"
The head physician narrowed his eyes at her, displeased a maid was second-guessing his esteemed assessment, "No... Does Your majesty feel uncomfortable anywhere?" He asked, turning back to Lei Xing.
Lei Xing blinked at him a few times and then glanced off to the side, hesitating. She really did not want to start up a fuss over nothing, but Xiao Ruo was clearly hellbent on doing it on her behalf if she failed to act "accordingly".
The girl refused to accept her very reasonable explanations – to be fair she probably did not understand Lei Xing's talk about hormones and whatnot. Lei Xing was probably not the best teacher either. It had even gotten to the point of her threatening to report the Emperor if Lei Xing continued to refuse to take it seriously.
Naturally, Lei Xing responded to that with the threat of kicking her out of the palace but all that did was make her cry and wail. Of course, these frequent arguments between the two of them were not going unnoticed. Even the Emperor had asked Lei Xing if she was having issues with Xiao Ruo. Lei Xing quickly denied that and explained it away as an exaggeration of facts but it was only a matter of time before the issue came to light.
It had already gone on way longer than Lei Xing could rationalize away and Xiao Ruo had also mentioned that she suspected some of the maids were starting to figure it out. It was better to deal with things like this now before rumors started to spread and it became a bigger problem. So Lei Xing finally succumbed to Xiao Ruo's nagging and sent for the head physician.
"Your majesty..." Xiao Ruo called, worried that Lei Xing was about to backtrack again.
Lei Xing glanced at her worried face, sighed, and then turned her gaze on the head physician and sighed again.
{… I'm pretty sure you're a quack but…since my resident quack is on vacation, I'll have to make do… First things first -_-)…}
"Do you know what doctor-patient confidentiality is?" Lei Xing started off with.
The head physician knit his brows in confusion and began, "Ahhh -"
"It means that the details of this conversation are to stay only between us three here. In other words, if I hear about this from anyone - I don't care who, I will personally ensure that you never see another sunrise." Lei Xing curtly explained, "Do you understand?" She did not like using her power to bully others, but she had to use the language that he would understand.
The head physician looked from Lei Xing to Xiao Ruo. Sensing this was quite serious, he bowed and said, "I understand."
Lei Xing studied the old man for a bit, unsure if he really understood that this confidentiality clause excluded the Emperor as well. But then she could not bring herself to actually ask if he understood that. It was not that she was trying to keep secrets from him - okay, maybe she was trying to keep one secret, but it was not permanent. It was just until she could wrap her mind around the issue at hand, so she would know how to properly convey it to him.
Besides, this was a very busy time for him, she was also very busy, distracting herself but busy. The point is he's stressed, she's stressed so it makes sense for them to deal with their individual stressors individually.
"Your majesty, should I tell him?" Xiao Ruo asked when she saw that Lei Xing was having difficulty divulging. After all, the topic was quite delicate, and explaining to a man, even a doctor, could not be easy for Lei Xing to do herself. Lei Xing had not even told her of the problem, it was Xiao Ruo who noticed it herself, and honestly, she suspected that Lei Xing herself did not notice until she pointed it out to her. Lei Xing was absentminded in certain matters.
Lei Xing glanced at Xiao Ruo and then glanced off to the side with a sigh, "Knock yourself out."
Xiao Ruo took that to be consent and stepped closer to the head physician and then very quietly said, "It's been over three months since the Empress..." She lowered her voice even more as she added, "...last bled."
It took the head physician a few moments to process what she meant, then his eyes went wide. He frowned and quickly went up to Lei Xing again, "If I may..." He said, motioning for her wrist again.
Lei Xing pursed her lips and begrudgingly handed her arm over and closed her eyes, waiting. The head physician put his fingers on her wrist and also closed his eyes and went into a deep concentration mode while Xiao Ruo watched with bated breath hoping for good news.
This went on for over five minutes until Lei Xing finally got irritated and snatched her arm back, "If you've not found what you were looking by now, then it's most likely not there!"
The head physician dropped his hands with a heavy sigh and after thinking for a bit, he asked, "Have you been experiencing any strange symptoms? Um...nausea, soreness, strange cravings, perhaps?"
Lei Xing frowned, "No. I am not experiencing pregnancy symptoms. As your many expressions just established, I am not pregnant." She dryly stated.
"Hmm... that is usually present in these cases -" The Head physician thought out loud and Lei Xing's ears perked up, "These cases?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, surprised this apparently a thing. The man was taking it a lot easier than she expected him to.
The head physician caught himself, cleared his throat, and said, "Your majesty... you're not pregnant."
"I figured that one out... I want you to explain the other part." Lei Xing ill-humoredly said.
The head physician cleared his throat again and hesitantly said, "Your majesty, you wouldn't the first woman to cave under the pressures of marriage..."
Lei Xing blinked at him, "Huh?" Was all she could manage, not understanding.
The head physician cast a quick glance at Lei Xing, before lowering his head again, this was indeed an awkward conversation. He hesitantly continued, "I noticed that you stopped taking the contraception brew after your appointment as Empress was announced. It is natural for a woman in your position and situation to feel...a need to prove herself..."
This confused Lei Xing even more. She turned to Xiao Ruo but was met with an even more confused gaze, so she turned back to the man with a frown, "What are you talking about?"
The head physician shifted but "bravely" continued, "Perhaps the news of Prince Yi's heir may have..." He paused, not daring to continue. While Lei Xing and Xiao Ruo became even more confused. The head physician cleared his throat and went for a different approach, "Even the Empress dowager experienced this a few times before she eventually conceived the Emperor. It is n-"
Lei Xing scoffed in disbelief as she mumbled, "He's comparing me to that - Wait." She suddenly stopped as it finally clicked in her mind. Her mouth hung open as she sat up, blinking at the man in shock as she said, "Are you, by any chance, insinuating that I made myself think that I -" She could not help bursting into laughter at the mere thought of it, "Oh wow, this is a new one. That is impossible." She stated, still utter in disbelief that he would even suggest that.
The head physician tried to assure her, "I understand that this is not what you want to hear, but Your majesty a phantom pregnancy is nothing to be ashamed about. The pressure o-"
"Get out." Lei Xing said, her mouth still refusing to close, it seemed her brain may have short-circuited from the sheer stupidity of this diagnosis.
"It can be treated -"
"Get out!" Lei Xing said more seriously now, on the verge of grabbing something to bash the man's head in with.
"Your majesty, t-"
"Get out before I seriously consider killing you!" Lei Xing ordered as her hand made a valiant effort to crush her armrest. The head physician looked at the veins popping on her hand, lightly cleared his throat, and rose to his feet, "I will be ba-" He began but swallowed the rest of his words when Lei Xing glared at him. It seemed it would be best for him to come back once the news had settled in, so he quickly turned and scurried out of the room.
Lei Xing watched the man leave and then suddenly burst into laughter. This was truly unbelievable.
Thinking that since Lei Xing was laughing, it could not be so bad. So Xiao Ruo innocently asked, "Your majesty, what is a phantom pregnancy?" Reminding Lei Xing that she was still there.
Unexpectedly, Lei Xing glared at her and point towards the door, "You too, out. This is all your fault!"
Xiao Ruo looked wrong, "My-"
"Get out!" Lei Xing shouted again and Xiao Ruo's feet quickly shuffled towards the exit as she sent Lei Xing. Lei Xing then resumed her laughter, which quickly degraded into wailing with no tears. She honestly did not know whether to laugh or cry right now, "Phantom - Like hell that's it!"
{...I don't even want to be pregnant in the first place, much less to the point of convincing myself of that nonsense!...}
Lei Xing continued to seethe, going back and forth between laughter and wailing, she was enraged right now. This was the reason she did not want to talk to these people in the first place, they did not understand anything!
Extremely agitated, she got up and began pacing while trying to sort through her thoughts. Clearly, she would have to figure this out on her own, "The audacity! " Lei Xing mumbled as her pace increased with every step, "If I see that quack again, I swear I'm going kill him. Come to think of it, this has to be that quack's fault. Yes, yes! Why didn't I think of this before?" She went as she talking of quacks reminded her of Doctor Lou.
"This all started after he left with his STUPID bracelet! I was perfectly fine before that - Well, if by perfectly fine you mean transmigrating into a random body - We are not going to talk about that - Actually, let's talk about that! That was all his fault! Yes! Therefore this has to be his fault too! Seems logical, he gave me a defective body! No, wait - either way, he had to have done something because there is no I, ME, am confused or desperate enough to have conceived a freaking phantom! No way! I've figured it out! YES!" Lei Xing stopped and did a little victory pose with that one, but then quickly resumed pacing.
"Now all I need to do is to find him. Find him and he'll fix it or I'll kill him - okay, I probably can't kill him but - he just has to fix this! Didn't he call himself womb's oven or whatever the hell nonsense was - see, even more evidence why this is his fault! He definitely did something, this has his signature written all over it! When I find him..."
Xiao Ruo hid around the corner and watched as Lei Xing stormed about the room, mumbling to herself, "It seems this must be really bad..." She whispered with a sigh. The doors opened behind her and she turned to see Bi Lo rush in. Before he could turn the corner and interrupt Lei Xing, Xiao Ruo quickly grabbed his arm and stopped him, "You can't go in there right now, the Empress is in a really bad mood." She whispered
"Why? Did something happen?" Bi Lo curiously asked with raised eyebrows.
Xiao Ruo frowned, "It's not important...What do you want?"
"Oh." He went as he remembered why he was here, "Something big happened, Prince Yi has been poison-"
"Poisoned!" Xiao Ruo absentmindedly exclaimed, only for her to jump when she heard Lei Xing's voice directly in front of her, "Whose been poisoned?"
Bi Lo quickly shrugged Xiao Ruo's hand off, composed himself, and reported, "We just received news that the Zou Princess found him collapsed in his cell."
Lei Xing knit her brows, quite surprised and confused with this news, "Is he alright?" She managed.
"He's currently being treated at the Imperial pharmacy, nothing is known for sure yet but poison seems to be the likely cause..." Bi Lo responded.
Lei Xing narrowed her eyes at him, "If nothing is known then why did you say he was poisoned?" She flatly asked, not at all in the mood for
Bi Lo blinked at her and then awkwardly smiled, "Ahhh... It was the way that stuck to my mind - It's what everyone is saying though." He added to defend himself.
Lei Xing sighed and turned to retreat into the recesses of her room. Seeing that Lei Xing seemed to have calmed down, Xiao Ruo followed behind her, "Your majesty, are you going to the Imperial pharmacy?"
Lei Xing suddenly stopped walking and Xiao Ruo narrowly missed bumping into her. Lei Xing turned and almost growled at Xiao Ruo as she said, "Don't you think I have enough problems already?"
Xiao Ruo blinked at her and Lei Xing continued on her way, "Besides if I run into that head physician right now, I may just murder him with my own hands..." She said as took her seat, crossed her legs, and folded her arms as her thoughts raced with a heightening sense of agitation.
{...I'm sure he's fine - For all I know Nalan may have opted for the knock him out and hope he loses memory method. Either way, don't care. I have an old to kill - No, I mean, to fix - No, I need to find an old man to fix this mess - He'll probably live, right? I'm sure he'll live, definitely live. He'll be fine...Perfectly fine...He'll survive...}