Group Owner’s Divine Weapon: Mass Muting Technique!
Group Owner’s Divine Weapon: Mass Muting Technique!
"Still under examination, can’t confirm the reason yet. Perhaps it was a special formation on the island, or a terrifying monster beast… when I have the results, I will let everyone know." Medicine Master replied.
"Thank you for the reminder, Brother Medicine Master." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator said.
As long as one was prepared, one would not be taken by surprise even if The Mysterious Island was bizarre.
After pondering a bit, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator reminded Thrice Reckless, "Brother Thrice Reckless, you’re already at the East Sea, be careful."
"Don’t worry, this Reckless is not an impulsive person!" Thrice Reckless laughed aloud.
"Thrice Reckless, go on without worries! I just calculated your fortune. Your luck lately isn’t bad, and this trip should bring some good rewards." Suddenly, Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram popped up and said.
When the immortal fortune teller’s words appeared, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s complexion instantly changed drastically.
"Wait… wait! Fortune teller, what did you just say? My luck lately isn’t bad?" Thrice Reckless Mad Saber quickly replied, "Are you sure you didn’t misread the divinatory diagram? How about you calculate my fortune again? It’s definitely the sh-short straw so don’t lie to me! It’s definitely a very ill omen, right? It’s at least a g-cup[1] ill omen, right?
The veins on Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram’s forehead bulged, "Get lost!"
"Hahaha." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator laughed aloud, then copied Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s words and sent it five to six more times in the chat. Then, he said smugly, "Fortune teller, just admit it. You will be a dubious fortune teller your entire life!"
"Beat it!" Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram was jabbed where it hurt most. "Northern River you old wreck, you’ve gone too far!"
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator replied, "You refuse to give in :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:? Then let’s fight two months later at the summit of the Forbidden City!"
"Hmph! Two months later, I’ll experience your methods as a matter of course. For a nobleman to take revenge, even one second is too late![2]" Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram opened up his own ‘custom emotes’ list, and pulled out the window labeled ‘Northern River,’ and sneered.
Then, he speedily sent several screenshots of chat logs.
[On a certain year and certain month.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: "Last week, I had the lucky chance to join Xuan Nu Sect’s feast and personally see Senior Skylark. Senior’s elegant and graceful demeanor is deeply unforgettable! (ps: Senior Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark, Nine Provinces Number One Group’s administrator.)
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: "You’re in love with Skylark?
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: "Of course."
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: "Bastard… Thrice Reckless, don’t interrupt!"
[On yet another year of another month
Su Clan’s Seven: "Northern River, the ‘Cloud Gauze Three View Moon’ plant you nurtured is truly beautiful, and I’m not the only one who feels that way. Don’t be modest!
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator, "Alright, I admit that I’m beautiful!"
Five or six pictures in a row, all of which were screenshots taken out of context of Northern River’s dark history.
After Northern River’s Loose Cultivator saw the row of chat log screenshots, he could no longer stay composed. "Shady fortune teller, that’s enough! When did you take so many screenshots?"
"Hmhm." Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram’s expression was full of complacency, "I’ve got even more savage ones."
"Don’t think that you’re the only one who has some!" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator hit the roof. He opened his own custom emotes page, and pulled out ones labeled ‘Copper Trigram,’ sending five or six in a swoosh.
Once it was sent, all was beyond control.
You send four, and then I’ll send five. It became a mudslinging competition to see who had more in stock and which were more savage ones!
The two’s mudslinging competition inevitably dragged in other members of the group. Consequently, the members who joined the dark history mudslinging were like a rolling snowball, becoming more and more.
Nine Provinces Number One Group turned into a mudslinging group.
Gradually, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator couldn’t continue any longer.
Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram had too much in stock, so Northern River was marked for defeat in this mudslinging competition.
What to do? Should he use the divine tool ps [3]and send fake dark histories?
"Hahaha, Northern River, you already ran out of stock?" Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram was elated, "I still haven’t used my ultimate technique. Here, have a taste of this ultimate one! This is an imprint I preserved using a spell; everyone, clear the screen and enjoy the show—‘ding ding ding’~~the scene when Northern River went to meet True Monarch White!"
Imprint spell was equivalent to a recording nowadays. In the ancient times when recording functions didn’t exist, imprint spell was a favorite of cultivators.
"F*ck, it can’t be that!" When Northern River’s Loose Cultivator heard this, his heartbeat increased by a few beats. This immoral shady fortune teller actually secretly used a spell to imprint his face after he’d greeted True Monarch White?
No, he absolutely couldn’t let the shady fortune teller send that embarrassing scene!
The next moment, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator lowered his head to the evil forces, "Immortal Master please show mercy, I admit that I was wrong, alright?"
In a few days, he’d find someone to hack into this guy’s computer and delete everything. Then, he’d think of a way to destroy the imprint spell! Or so Northern River’s Loose Cultivator thought resolutely.
"It’s too late!" Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram smiled smugly, and contentedly sent a small video into the chat.
The video was a bit blurry, because a video recorder filmed over the imprint spell.
In the video, a man wagged his head while sighing, then in a complicated tone, he said, "I feel... if this person looks like True Monarch White, adding that infinite charisma, even if it’s a man… fu*k me, what the hell are you filming!"
"Hahaha, Northern River, look at your idiotic face." Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram laughed uncontrollably, as if he’d already seen Northern River’s dejected look like that of a stray dog.
"…" Northern River stayed silent for a short while, and watched the sighing man in the video repeatedly.
That man was extremely handsome even if he was sighing.
Then… Northern River’s Loose Cultivator let out a sigh of relief.
Yes, it was all good... the man in the video wasn’t him!
Then, Copper Trigram was going to have rough luck! He swore on his Dao name!
As expected, around five seconds later.
[System Announcement, ( * * * * * ) Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram has been silenced for 30 days by True Monarch Yellow Mountain.]
Yesss, silenced for thirty days!
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator felt extremely delighted.
If not for the chat software’s thirty-day silence limitation, Copper Trigram would be silenced for much longer!
Because... that guy Copper Trigram sent the wrong dark history!
The man in the video was not Northern River, but the group owner from several hundred years ago—True Monarch Yellow Mountain. Copper Trigram had touched the dragon’s anus[4], looking to be shat on!
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber immediately jumped out, and praised True Monarch Yellow Mountain, "True Monarch, well silenced, someone like Copper Trigram should be silenced for ten or twenty years!"
The embarrassed and angry True Monarch Yellow Mountain sneered, and unhesitantly sent Thrice Reckless mad Saber on the same journey.
[System Announcement, ( * * * * * * ) Thrice Reckless Mad Saber has been silenced for 1 day by True Monarch Yellow Mountain.]
Sigh, Brother Reckless, why can you still not understand the principle of 'if you don't seek death, you won't die?—Northern River’s Loose Cultivator exclaimed inside–your message was equivalent to telling True Monarch Yellow Mountain, ‘Oh True Monarch, I watched that video too!’
Who else would True Monarch silence other than you?
Conduct yourself like me, never seek death, keep a low-profile when you need to, and never act lofty! Even if I’m the happiest that Copper Trigram got silenced, I would never say a word!
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator almost praised himself!
[System Announcement: ( * * * * * * ) Northern River’s Loose Cultivator has been silenced for 1 day by True Monarch Yellow Mountain.]
As one of the main culprits that started the mudslinging fiesta, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator could still not escape his fate of being silenced no matter how low-profile he was.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator felt balls-laden with grief[5].
Song Shuhang who read up to this point laughed till he suffered internal injuries.
He had planned to say something, but immediately retreated the hand that pressed on the keyboard. True Monarch Yellow Mountain was embarrassed and angry at this moment, it didn’t matter who it was that uttered a word—they would still likely be silenced.
But, speaking of which… exactly what about that Senior True Monarch White made all the seniors in the group so panic-stricken? It seems even True Monarch Yellow Mountain suffered from it during that time?
[1] TL/N: wordplay on 凶兆 pronounced the same as 胸罩 which is bra.
[2] TL/N: wordplay or rather proverb play, original saying 君子报仇,十年不晚. For a nobleman to take revenge, ten years is not too long. Essentially, revenge is best served cold. But here it says For a noblemen to take revenge, even one second is too late!
[3] photoshop
[4] TL/N: 找死 looking to die is read similarly as 找屎 looking for shit (lit.). Author’s way of joking. 龙之逆鳞, inverted dragon scale; the old proverb says that one who touches the inverted scales on a dragon will be killed by the dragon.
[5] TL/N: 淡淡 slight light faint pronounced similar as 蛋蛋 egg balls testes another wordplay…