The Scars

Ten years later    

I just had a call from Vera this morning after ten years I had been living in the US by using the same phone number with the hope that one day Ilana would contact me. It was like hoping for a miracle that she would come into my life someday. Yet, my hope would never fade away no matter how long I had to wait. My uncle assured me that she had accepted my letter and the pendant. That girl even worked in his clinic during her semester break. Unfortunately, because of his business, my uncle did not have time to connect me to Ilana through phone calls. It was as if we were not destined to be connected.    

It took so long for Vera to finally call me. She had changed her number we could not keep in touch since the last time we met at the airport before my leaving for the US. Vera admitted that she forgot to contact me because of her problem, her conflict with her aunt. I could not blame her for what had occurred. Despite being a little bit late to give me the information about Ilana, happiness drummed my chest when I heard Vera calling my name from the other line. Nevertheless, her bad news shocked me. Ilana disappeared and nothing she left with. Vera had tried hard to search for her. There was no clue where she and her parents had moved. What happened to her?    

Ilana would have contacted me if she read my letter because I wrote my number in that letter. Could it be because she just ignored it or she did not have a mobile phone? Her life might be sucked yet it was unbelievable that she had no mobile phone even after ten years passed. Did something terrible ensue to her?    

I sighed under the shower. I let the water run from my head to my bare chest. I rubbed my hair and face. It had been almost one hour since I was in the shower. My past had trapped me and occupied my mind and heart. Ilana's sweet smile emerged every time my remembrance traveled back to the times when I spent two years of my senior high school in Indonesia. I was fully aware that forgetting Ilana was something I could not do.    

"Are you there?" A girl shouted from outside. It was Alice. I had warned her not to get into my apartment without my permission. It was too bad that she knew the code from one of my friends so that she easily went in and out of my apartment. I remained to use the same code not because I forgot to change it but because it was Ilana's birthday I used it as a code to access my room.    

I rushed out of the door after putting on my pajama. Alice was sitting at the edge of my bed with her crossed legs. Her tank top and mini skirt showed her perfect curve. She was an average American girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale white skin. Although freckles painted her face, she was pretty. She looked a bit like Drew Barrymore. Due to her sexy body, most of my male friends were crazy to date her.    

"You may have an access to my room, it doesn't mean you...," she suddenly had been at my back, putting her forefingers on my lips when I was taking mineral water from the fridge. Her touch on my shoulder and back caused a sensation that I could not interpret. It woke something inside me. I shortly pushed her body away. "Could you please wait in the living room? I need to dress," I reasoned.    

"Why? You are my boyfriend. We have been dating for almost two months. You never kiss me even once. You are not gay, are you?"    

"Of course, not! I'm straight." It was because only Ilana filled my heart. That was right that I have dated her for almost two months. Yet, I did not have feelings for her. Ilana's face always flashed in my mind every time I was on her side.    

"Let's...."    

"Let's break up." I cut it off.    

"What? How could you do this to me?"    

"Sorry. I think I don't deserve your love. You are too kind for me." She docked me a slap before she took her to leave.    

I felt guilty. But, I had to tell her the truth that my love wasn’t for her. Pretending to love her would hurt her more. No matter how hard I tried, it was only Ilana, the one I loved. She might not feel the same way, but my love for her would stay the same. I gulped the drink and then walked to the wardrobe.    

I changed my pajama into a t-shirt and jeans. Facing the mirror, I studied my reflection there. I had grown to be an adult man with a taller muscular body. The t-shirt I was wearing illustrated my broad shoulder and chest. My face was not that much changed. I had a strong jaw, pointed nose, and sharp brown eyes. The only difference was that I no longer used spectacles but the lens.    

I went to the bed and picked up the phone which had rung twice. It was my uncle. We had good communication even though we lived a thousand miles apart. We did a video call during his break from his routines. He was so busy with not only his profession as a doctor but also his nonprofit organization.    

"Reno, you should hear this." He sounded so serious. He was a serious person, indeed. However, he would always say hello and asked if I was good. He was too straightforward this time. What news did he bring? He said that he was suspicious about my mother's death. He told me that there was something wrong with her death. It had been twenty-seven years. Nevertheless, he kept investigating the incident.    

"W-what?" I stuttered out.    

"Your mother...it was not the car accident, the main cause of her death. Someone poisoned her drink before she drove her car to your father's office. One of her assistants fired by your stepmother was the one who revealed that." The news struck me like thunder. "The one who did it is your stepmother."